Relationships
Original Post - September 2021
I have now been with my Kindergarten class for 4 full days. Relationships have been the biggest part of our time together: Relationships between the children; relationships with the children and relationships with the parents.
This paragraph is taken from IB's From Principles into Practice (The Learner):
"Young children experience their world as an environment of relationships; these relationships affect virtually all aspects of their development (National Scientific Council on the Developing Child 2004). The significance of relationships in the early years is a fundamental part of establishing important skills and dispositions that centre on trust, agency and belonging. When the importance of relationships is reinforced, the foundations for an effective learning community are established."
Some ways I have been intentional in establishing positive relationships include:
- Planning these first few days without even looking at curriculum scope and sequence documents. (I know many of the developmental milestones typical in this age range that I could match back to, but I have not looked at them to plan specific content)
- Uninterrupted time for play (daily) has allowed children time to learn together, share resources, problem solve, negotiate, compromise, be creative together, be inspired by one another's creations and have time to bond through common experiences.
- Spending time alongside children as they make their choices in play. Natural and genuine questions, connections and observations frame these conversations.
- Reading aloud picture books that focus on big ideas central to relationships and community building.
- Establishing a morning routine that involves children connecting individually with me as the class teacher and also the classroom assistant. This is not done in a class circle. Some children say good morning; others have started to share what they did the day before to connect home life to the classroom.
- Part of the morning routine has a short morning message that invites children to connect to a different question each day and discover connections between their stories and experiences.
- Spending time with each child asking about who lives at home, the languages they speak at home and where they were born. Hearing these stories in the child's own words has been very insightful.
- Actively seeking and making oneself available to connect to parents at the start and end of the school day has been incredibly reassuring and valuable for both parents and us as a Kindergarten team. A few short minutes is a year-long investment.
- The use of a soft toy named Tidy who helps us tidy up, but who is also shy, and was nervous about starting Kindergarten. Many children connected to Tidy and puppets in the classroom.
- Team-building games such as working in groups to keep balloons afloat in the air and "Move if...". Standing in a circle, children move places if the statement is true. Eg. Move if you are 5 years old. Move if you like sushi.
How have you been intentional in prioritising relationships at the start of a school year?
What do you plan to do to maintain and deepen those relationships throughout the year?
Updated post: September 2023
I am enjoying revisiting posts but also trying to reconsider big ideas through new lenses. I wanted to reflect on relationships, belonging and community, but the notion of reflection is immense. To structure the reflection, I decided to use the "attitudes" that were formerly one of the 5 essential elements of the PYP. The dispositions themselves are still valued in the programme; they are just now embedded into the descriptions of the attributes of the learner profile.
RESPECT
Developing positive relationships is based on respect. I try to show respect for each child as an individual, and focus on our connections as humans and the positive "image of the child" that I hold. I give time to children and listen to their words. I value the power of documentation as a way to show respect for and revisit children's ideas and thinking. Thinking about why we play today (our very first day as this new Kindergarten class), a child used the photo below to give this insight: "To build what what you want and to be like an architect". Such beautiful, insightful words that can invite and provoke more thinking and play about choices we might want to make and who/what we might want to be!
TOLERANCE
In some systems, there is much written about what 5 years must be able to do according to their age. Embracing children and families for who they are and what their starting points are is a much more inclusive approach that allows everyone to flourish, set goals and make progress that is relevant to them in their learning journey. Tuning into and accepting children as who and where they are is key to positive interactions. Today, Kindergarten had the opportunity to go down a newly built slide in the playground, and some children needed more time, encouragement and support than others.
CONFIDENCE
My own confidence in best practice in Kindergarten has increased in the past two years, improving the interactions I have with young children and their families. Expecting the unexpected, I am more skilled and confident in responding in the moment rather than following a planned idea that might need rethinking. My confidence has also grown in being myself and sharing my own likes, dislikes and opinions with Kindergarten. I also have great confidence in young children and instead of over-explaining, modelling everything unnecessarily, I continue to enjoy sparking curiosity and creativity and using open-ended materials to see what and how children might use them. Today, the makers' tray was used by one of the children to create a range of ice creams from loose parts.
CURIOSITY
Curiosity in children, their families, their backgrounds, their hopes and their own inquiries form the base of solid relationships based on dialogue. I am more intentional in asking questions to reveal some of these details, but also remain open to those spontaneous and sincere connections and wonderings in the moment. Tomorrow, I am starting to conference with each child individually in a quest to get to know more about them. Listening to connect and to understand will develop trustful relationships. This morning, a child was exploring a set of coloured mirrors and I asked what could we use these for. My interest in his thinking prompted experimentation with what he named "mirror mazes" and then "a mirror village".
EMPATHY
Empathy towards children and their families is foundational to strong relationships, understanding that each family is unique and within each family, there are differences - different levels of comfort, levels of English and French (for our context in Paris), amount of time being in Paris, the reasons for being here, who and what they have left behind and their priorities. Understandably, several children are nervous on their first day (and days) of a new grade (and perhaps school). Rather than hope for the best, we started today with a story that sparked conversations about being nervous (and excited and scared and happy!). Ensuring that feelings are discussed openly helps to create a safe place for honest interactions.
ENTHUSIASM
Positive energy goes a long way in modelling and securing good relationships. Encouraging words and smiles help to set a positive and enthusiastic tone in a classroom, and one where participation and playfulness become the norm. To mark today's special first day in Kindergarten, the entrance to the classroom was also special.
Integrity connects to strong moral principles. I strongly believe in a child's right to play. Most of Kindergarten's first day was the opportunity to play, understanding that play gives children the opportunity to connect with others and form and develop friendships. As an advocate for play, I also wanted the children to start to see how I value their play and use it to form relationships with them. I spent a large part of the day observing children and playing alongside them. This was one of the games I played.
COOPERATION
Partnering with caregivers to work towards common goals is important to me. This comes from strong relationships that are nurtured from the very beginning. Time with individual families this morning was an important investment for both the caregivers, classroom assistants and teachers. Encouraging cooperation in the class is also important for healthy relationships. There were times that individuals needed support when their friends were doing something they didn't like. We also discussed the careful organisation of the classroom and the importance of everyone taking responsibility to tidy up and keep the classroom as a learning space where we can access what we need. In the coming weeks, we will discuss our school values and unpack the learner profile as a means for us to have common aspirations we can strive towards collectively.
COMMITMENT
I am committed to the pedagogy of play and the processes of observation and conferencing as forms of documentation to get to know the children in my class. I have already taken many photographs of children's play and used them with the children to reflect on their first day, as well as planning blocks of time to observe and conference. Today, I observed a child tackle a complex jigsaw puzzle and made note of the persistence she showed, her process to group pieces by colour and her understanding of rotating, sliding and flipping shapes in an attempt to complete the puzzle. This investment of time and the conversations that developed resulted in establishing positive relationships even on the first day.
INDEPENDENCE
There is much written about agency for children so they are able to take initiative. I am lucky to work in a school where teachers are also allowed to exercise the agency we all have. We have "freedom within boundaries" (quoting my friend Chizzy!) to think for ourselves, be resourceful and be trusted to make informed choices. In working towards the school's vision, I am able to be autonomous and therefore take great pride and ownership in the ways my team and I decide to prioritise relationships with each other and the children. This extends to choices about how outdoor learning spaces are used to encourage children to play alongside each other, and for me to get to know children in different contexts and environments.
CREATIVITY
Already today, children were introduced to the idea of thinking partners to talk through their ideas together with others, nurturing respectful and collaborative relationships. I have been intentional in setting up the learning environment with many loose parts that encourage the children to respond creatively to open-ended materials as they play with one another. Asking open-ended questions and inviting children to respond to different stimuli allows me to get to know so much about children's dispositions and competencies. Creativity can help to craft engaging invitations and provocations - not magic shows; rather a playfulness that can inspire and be sustained. Strong relationships help children to accept differences and be open to nuances and subtleties. Today, we started to unpack the concept of pattern, and children were invited to respond to this video:
APPRECIATION
Appreciation for one another's similarities and differences is instrumental in establishing a sense of community and powerful relationships. This week, we will play several games to work towards this goal. For example, "Stand up if..." and "Would you rather...?" Understanding that different people have different ideas and preferences is as important as recognising the many commonalities we share. I also think of appreciation in the sense that I understand trust and harmonious relationships develop over time and not as a result of a quick burst of community building activities.
If we have such values as the 12 listed here, and our words and actions mirror these, a culture is more likely to develop that reflects their importance, making it more probable that the children will develop these dispositions, too, helping to form a strong sense of community built on powerful relationships.
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